Christmas 2007, Second Challenge
by LadyFlamewing
Summary: Written for a friend's challenge - a gen. fic featuring Kuwabara and Yusuke, with the theme "Nobody shoots at Santa Clause." - Samuel Butler. Rated for language. One-shot.


"You know – " Kuwabara begins, and Yusuke rounds on him.

"Don't you start," he growls furiously, but it's rather hard to be intimidating when your death-glare is interrupted by a rude poke through a barred door.

"Keep it down in there," the guard demands, and Kuwabara fights back a laugh at the absolutely disgusted look on Yusuke's face.

" – this is not really how I planned on spending my holiday," Kuwabara continues.

"Oh, and I'm absolutely _thrilled_," Yusuke grinds out sarcastically before the guard pokes him again.

"Should have thought about that _before_ you took out Santa Claus," the guard says, rather self-importantly, Kuwabara thinks, but it's worth it to see Yusuke explode.

"I keep telling you guys, he was a demon!"

"Sure, sure, kid," the guard says soothingly. "Santa's a demon, and the Tooth Fairy's a vampire."

"Serve you right if she was," Yusuke mutters under his breath while the guard's distracted with howling at his own wit. Kuwabara grins.

"So, what?" he asks. "She takes your tooth _and_ your blood? Seems a little unfair."

"Fuck that," Yusuke protests, flinging himself down onto the stone bench hard enough that Kuwabara winces to think about the bruises he'll have later. _Or not_, Kuwabara supposes; Yusuke's always healed well. "If some bastard's making me pick up his kid's rotten tooth, I'm damn well going to want something else out of the deal."

Kuwabara snorts, and there's silence for a while. It's not exactly comfortable, not with their current surroundings, but it's at least amiable, at least until someone a few cells over decides to get smart and starts playing carols on a harmonica.

"Damn it," Yusuke mutters from where he is lying precariously on the bench, which is making a valiant effort to contain his most impressive sprawl. "This sucks."

Silently, Kuwabara agrees, but he's not letting Yusuke off that easily. It's his fault they're here after all. "Could've avoided the whole thing if you'd been a little more discreet about the whole, 'Santa's a demon' thing," he points out helpfully.

"I'm not sure I even know what that means," Yusuke says sulkily.

"Obviously," Kuwabara retorts, rolling his eyes. "Roughly translated, it means, 'Did you really have to shoot Santa Claus in the middle of a crowded shopping center?'"

Yusuke surges upright. "He was fucking gonna eat that kid!" he says indignantly. Kuwabara sighs.

"And you know that we could have gotten there in time," he points out. "I mean, come on. The shrimp moves faster than people can even see. This is just like that time with the kid and the car," he realizes suddenly. "You've done something incredibly noble and stupid."

Frowning, Yusuke mutters, "Shut up, before I offer your body to the guard out there in exchange for some ear plugs."

Kuwabara grins. "Look on the bright side: at least you didn't die this time."

"All right, that's it." Yusuke declares, getting up and striding across the cell. Kuwabara snags his wrist carefully as he goes by, and _doesn't_ get a fist in his teeth for it, so he figures he's still doing all right.

"Think the guys'll come for us?" Yusuke asks suddenly, and Kuwabara stares at him like he's gone mad.

"We _are_ talking about the team, right? The same team? The one that's made up of us, a sadistic fox-demon, and a homicidal midget?"

Yusuke grins, turning just enough to catch Kuwabara's incredulous look. "Yeah," he says simply. "Should be along any second now, right?"

Kuwabara shakes his head in disbelief and has just opened his mouth to retort – something along the lines of 'When, exactly, did you go insane?' should do quite nicely – when there's an achingly familiar flare of youki just outside their cell. His attention shifts in time to hear the unmistakable sound of a limp body hitting the floor, and then the door is ripped away with the screech of protesting metal and the soft rustle of plant life.

"Told you," Yusuke mutters, and there's no way Kuwabara should be able to hear him over the sound of shattering concrete, but Yusuke _would_ have to get the last word.

They start to move towards what used to be the door, but Kurama abruptly holds up a hand to halt them, still staring intently down the hallway. They've done this – well, not _quite_ this, but similar stealth-like operations – enough times to recognize the signal, and they freeze automatically, reiki warm in their hands.

And then Kurama glances back with a devilish grin and looks rather pointedly at the space above their heads.

"You're a sick, sick, bastard," Yusuke mutters, glaring at the mistletoe Kurama's grown over the entire ceiling of their cell. "You know that, right?"

Kurama only shrugs innocently, but he darts out of the way quickly enough as Yusuke stalks past him.

"Merry Christmas, Yusuke!" the fox-demon calls after him, and Kuwabara predicts the response – right down to the careless wave of one hand.

"Yeah, yeah. Merry fucking Christmas."


End file.
